


Peace Bearer

by chaos_monkey, Revakah, TessAlyn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Thrawn Series - Timothy Zahn (2017)
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Sex, Bathing/Washing, Brief Thranto, Chiss culture, Chiss have multiple orgasms, Enthusiastic Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Fingering, Flustered Thrawn, M/M, Mentor/Protégé traditions, Pining, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, Sex Toys, Slight Alien Biology, Thrawn can cook, because we want them to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2020-10-29 22:40:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20804153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaos_monkey/pseuds/chaos_monkey, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Revakah/pseuds/Revakah, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TessAlyn/pseuds/TessAlyn
Summary: After Thrawn introduces Eli to the Chiss tradition oftis vircusi(lit. peace bearer), he’s reminded of his early days serving in the Chiss Defense Force— and the man who helped him become who he is today.a.k.a. This is what happens when three idiots fall in love with their own OC.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Tales from the Admiral's Quarters](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16628279) by [MotherRameses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotherRameses/pseuds/MotherRameses), [TessAlyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TessAlyn/pseuds/TessAlyn). 

> Please note that the main relationship this story centers around does have a large age gap (i.e. a good 30+ years difference), though there is absolutely no underage/minor content whatsoever. Everyone involved is a consenting adult.
> 
> Work inspired by TessAlyn’s The Way of the Warrior series in Tales from the Admiral’s Quarters (reading it first isn’t absolutely _necessary_— but it is _very _good, and gives a little context for the start of this fic!). The Chiss biology here is based off of Negotiations by chaos_monkey.

“That was amazing,” Eli sighed, rolling over and draping his arm across Thrawn’s bare chest. His body was warm, sweaty, and totally relaxed, which pleased Thrawn very much. His aide had been working too hard, as usual— not getting enough sleep, taking on extra duties— and was always neglecting to take care of himself. Thrawn was only too happy to provide some much-needed stress relief.

“I really like this,” Eli said, as if reading his mind. “This whole… what do you call it again?”

“_Tis vircusi,_” Thrawn said, sliding an arm around Eli’s shoulders and drawing him closer. “I enjoy it, too.”

“Well,” Eli said, lifting his head a little and grinning up at him, “you’re very good at it.”

Thrawn smiled back, idly running his fingers through Eli’s hair. “Thank you. It is good to know I have not forgotten.”

“Have you done it a lot?” Eli asked curiously. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Not for many years,” Thrawn said. “And only with one other. I was no older then than you were when we first met. I was… exceedingly nervous.”

Eli laughed, a quiet sound that held only warmth. “You? Nervous? I can’t even imagine that.”

“Yes. I did not balance my life well, then. Admiral Fen’nisien... I would not be who I am today were it not for him.”

“Well, I guess I owe him a pretty big ‘thank you’, then,” Eli murmured, cuddling closer.

“As do I,” Thrawn said softly, holding Eli a little tighter.

It may have been many years, but he still remembered it as though it was only yesterday. He had been so young then; naive and nervous beyond belief, terrified he would prove unworthy of the honour given to him by the man he respected and admired above all others.

_ Admiral Fen’nisien… _

As Eli drifted off to sleep in his arms, Thrawn allowed his mind to wander back, returning to that long-ago time and place. All those lessons he’d learned, all those lovely long nights together… Fenn had taught him so much. Not only about relaxation and pleasure— although that was certainly a large part of it— but about himself as well. How to use what made him different to his advantage, instead of seeing it as detrimental; as something to be overcome or fixed.

Eli’s breathing had become soft and steady, the last of his tension melting away as he sank deeper into sleep. Thrawn let his own eyes drift closed, still reminiscing about his mentor.

He had grown up hearing tales of Fen’nisien’s military prowess; had followed his steady rise through the ranks of the Chiss Defense Force; had taken note of his tactical decisions and battle strategies during training exercises. Fen’nisien was fearless, but also precise. He never wasted an opportunity, but never wasted resources either. The day the admiral had chosen Thrawn to serve aboard the _ Seaflame _ had been the greatest moment of his young life.

The greatest, that is, until the day he was called into his admiral’s private quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are presuming Eli was around 20-22 years old when he and Thrawn were at the Academy together.


	2. Chapter 2

“Current position?” Admiral Fen’nisien asked, striding over to the console where Thrawn was stationed with First Comm Officer Al’ash’inkroni. The small Chiss patrol ship displayed on the _ Seaflame_’s viewscreen was, by all appearances, dead in space. And yet, there was no visible hull damage, no escape pods had been jettisoned, and the sensors were picking up none of the plasma or ion trails that would indicate the use of laser cannons. Whatever had caused the patrol ship to go dark, it wasn’t weapons fire.

“Bearing three point five, sir,” Alashi replied. 

“Any distress signals?”

“None, sir,” Thrawn answered, his stomach tightening a little as the admiral leaned forward to look at the sensor board in front of them.

“Have you tried hailing them?” Fen’nisien asked.

“Twice, sir,” Alashi said. “No response.”

Fen’nisien was silent for a moment. He was calculating the number of variables, Thrawn knew, using them to inform possible courses of action and their outcomes. He wished he could see inside the admiral’s head, and he also wished Fen’nisien would stop leaning over his shoulder. It was making concentration… difficult.

“Approach at half-speed,” the admiral said at last, straightening up. “Let’s see what they do.” He placed a hand on Thrawn’s shoulder, making the younger man twitch. “Stay focused on the sensor readings, Mitth’raw’nuruodo. If there are any irregularities, your sharp eyes will find them.”

“Yes, sir,” Thrawn nearly whispered, silently cursing the blush now spreading over his face. Normally he disliked physical touch, particularly from those he did not know well, but Fen’nisien was an exception. The admiral was not a very talkative man— he used as few words as necessary to get his meaning across— but he wasn’t cold or aloof with his crew. Quite the opposite. He had a warm, reassuring presence on the bridge, and often communicated his approval with a quick smile or a friendly pat on the shoulder. Most Chiss were quite reserved, even guarded with their emotions, but Fen’nisien was unusual in that way. In many ways, actually.

No, it wasn’t the touch that bothered Thrawn. It was what followed. Every time his admiral paid him even the _ slightest _ bit of attention, a hot, prickly feeling would sear through Thrawn’s gut, his muscles would go rigid, and he would blush. It didn’t matter if he was expecting it or not— he invariably had the same reaction, and he could not seem to control it, no matter how hard he tried. And it was even worse than usual today, no doubt because of that _ dream _he’d had two days ago. This was the first time he’d been on duty with Fen’nisien since, but the details hadn’t faded as he’d hoped they would— and the vivid memory kept popping back into his mind at the slightest provocation.

_ Fleeting sensations and disjointed images, wet tongue on his and bare skin hot under his palms. He doesn’t see his lover’s face but he knows who it is, he _ knows _ it’s Fen’nisien. A sudden _ shift _ and he’s on his knees, shuddering with pleasure, hard heat filling his mouth and drifting moans filling his ears— and then a different _ shift _ as he begins to surface from the dream, trying to ignore the slowly dawning reality that it’s his own fingers he’s feeling in his mouth, that he’s alone in his bed with one hand on his cock and his sheets already sticky with come. He clings to the fading illusion, thrusting up desperately into his own slick wet grip, and he’s still half asleep enough he can almost believe it really is his admiral’s cock he’s sucking on while he comes again with a soft gasp in the shape of a name. _

Thrawn flushed so hard his ears burned and pushed the memory down again. He was certain his treacherous thoughts must be clearly written on his face for all to see, but Fen’nisien seemed to mistake his lieutenant’s embarrassment for anxiety.

“Try not to worry,” he said. “It’s most likely a malfunction. We have no reason to suspect foul play as yet.”

What did that mean? Did Fen’nisien think he was nervous about going into a possible combat situation?

“Yes, sir,” Thrawn said again, rather stiffly.

“Good man.” Fen’nisien gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze, and a small shudder ran through Thrawn before he could stop it. He clenched his jaw tightly and turned to his control board as the admiral removed his hand and strode back to the command station.

Of all the people he could have developed an interest in, _ why _ did it have to be his commanding officer? If Fen’nisien ever found out how Thrawn really felt about him, he would think Thrawn was too immature, too undisciplined to serve aboard such a prestigious warship, let alone be promoted to a command position. To become a leader you needed to be focused, driven, even ruthless at times. You could not allow emotion to get in the way of reason. Besides, Fen’nisien behaved exactly the same way around Thrawn as he did around everyone else. It wasn’t as though those casual touches _ meant _anything. No matter how much he wished they did. 

Thrawn shook himself mentally. He was a CDF warrior, not a lovestruck teenager. If he wanted to command one day, he had to put a stop to all this pointless fantasizing. Immediately.

He just wished he knew _ how. _

* * *

It turned out that the patrol ship had passed too close to a nebula emitting erratic bursts of ion radiation, which had knocked out most of their systems, including communications. Luckily, the emergency life support had not been affected, and the _ Seaflame _was able to pull the ship and its crew to safety. Now they were on their way again, whispering soundlessly through space.

Thrawn returned to his quarters at the end of his shift, exchanging a brief greeting with his roommate, who was just leaving to go on-duty with the third rotation. He was still irritatingly flustered, his thoughts constantly wandering back to the feeling of Fen’nisien’s warm hand squeezing his shoulder.

The low heat that had already been coiling quietly in his gut burned hotter as Thrawn imagined Fen’nisien’s hand on his _ bare _ shoulder instead, moving over his naked body to squeeze somewhere else… imagined his _ own _hands wandering over Fen’nisien in turn— just as they had in his dream— sliding across firm muscles under smooth skin, feeling the power he knew that body held as it moved against him.

Although the admiral was past fifty, he didn’t look it. He stood straight and tall, striding about the ship with utter confidence, speaking in a quiet, yet steely tone Thrawn had come to love hearing. He was starting to go grey at the temples, but that only made him look more distinguished, not less. And his _ body_… Fen’nisien was built like a wrestler, big arms and broad shoulders hard with muscle, large and stocky but not the slightest bit out of shape. Thrawn had seen him best opponents half his age in the ship’s training dojo, slamming them to the mat, then helping them up with a low chuckle and some friendly pointers. Thrawn himself had never dared to challenge his admiral to a sparring match like many others did— if a mere touch on the shoulder made him blush, what would happen if Fen’nisien pinned him down and _ straddled _ him?

Thrawn flushed, dragging his thoughts away from that vision and mentally reprimanding himself yet again. It was entirely inappropriate for him to be entertaining such ideas. A cold shower was in order, it seemed. 

He’d been taking a lot of those lately.

Entering the tiny fresher unit, he locked the door behind him and leaned his forehead against the wall. The sensation of cold, smooth tile on his skin was a relief, and after a moment he pressed his sweaty palms against it, too. He took a few deep breaths— inhaling through his nose, exhaling through his mouth— until the knot in his stomach loosened. Better. 

He was just about to turn on the water when his comlink buzzed, indicating he had received a new message alert. Thrawn glanced down at it, and then froze.

It was from Admiral Fen’nisien.

_ Lieutenant Mitth’raw’nuruodo: Please report to my quarters at your earliest convenience. _

A fresh wave of tension, coupled with a sick sense of humiliated dread, seized hold of his insides.

Fen’nisien _ had _ noticed. 

He had _ noticed. _


	3. Chapter 3

Thrawn stepped out of the lift and walked down the hallway towards the admiral’s quarters lost in thought, his hands clammy and his stomach churning. 

How could he have been so _ stupid? _ He should have done a better job of hiding his attraction. Now he was going to be reprimanded for letting his mind wander while on duty, or worse, transferred to a different command for inappropriate conduct. The thought sent a cold trickle of fear through him. More than anything else, Thrawn wanted to stay aboard the _ Seaflame, _ even if it meant serving alongside— serving _ under_— a man he could never have. There was so much more he needed to learn from Fen’nisien. Tactical maneuvers, dispute resolution, negotiation skills, fleet deployment and battle strategies… 

He was here.

The door was just like any other door on the ship, but to Thrawn it seemed enormous and looming, daring him to come any closer. He swallowed and made himself press the call button.

“Yes?” Fen’nisien’s voice came through the speaker.

For a moment Thrawn thought his voice wouldn’t work. “Lieutenant Mitth’raw’nuruodo,” he managed to croak. “Reporting as ordered, sir.”

The briefest of pauses, and then— “Yes, of course,” the admiral said. “Please come in.” The door swished open.

At least he didn’t _ sound _displeased, Thrawn reflected, although he wouldn’t know for sure until he saw the admiral’s face. Fen’nisien’s open displays of emotion made him easier to read than most people.

Thrawn hesitated for the space of a heartbeat, then walked through the open door with his heart thumping and his nerves jangling. He’d never been in the admiral’s quarters before. What would it be like, seeing such a private part of Fen’nisien’s world?

_ Colourful is the first word that springs to mind. The paintings on the walls are bright, bold, abstract, containing shades of vivid purple, deep blue, bright red, rich green. The shapes and compositions vary wildly from one painting to the next. None are easy to define. _

_ Warmth is the second impression. Warmth and… a sense of peace. The only sound is the soft hum of the ventilation system, the air itself slightly humid, recalling the hot springs back home on Csilla. It has a faint but pleasant aroma, a mixture of musky sweat and fragrant soap. It’s a good smell— the smell of his admiral. He inhales it greedily, eyes half-closed as he walks into the room. _

“Mitth’raw’nuruodo.”

Thrawn’s head jerked sharply to the right. Fen’nisien was standing in the middle of the living space, a glass of something dark red in his hand. He was out of uniform, dressed in plain grey trousers and a black shirt with short sleeves.

“Sir,” Thrawn answered, immediately snapping to attention.

“At ease, Lieutenant,” Fen’nisien said, his lips twitching slightly, and Thrawn realized the admiral was trying not to smile. “We’re off-duty.”

“Yes, sir,” he said, feeling slightly foolish. He relaxed his stance, letting his arms hang loose at his sides.

“Would you care for a drink?” the admiral inquired, moving towards the small galley adjacent to the living area.

“Thank you, sir,” Thrawn said, feeling more confused by the second as he took a tentative step into the room. 

What did Fen’nisien _ want _ from him? He wasn’t angry, or disappointed, or any of the things Thrawn had expected him to be. On the contrary, he looked almost... _pleased, _as if Thrawn’s arrival was the most interesting thing to happen all day. His facial heat also seemed more intense than usual, although that was probably due to the room’s elevated temperature rather than his emotional state.

Fen’nisien opened the cooling unit door and peered inside. “What would you like?” he asked over his shoulder. “I have white or red wine, and I think there’s a bottle of _ gana’sia _hiding in here somewhere.” 

“Whatever you’re having is fine, sir,” Thrawn said.

Fen’nisien glanced over at him, eyebrows raised. “Is that really what you want, Mitth’raw’nuruodo, or are you just trying to be polite?”

Thrawn opened his mouth, then closed it again, slightly taken aback. How was he supposed to respond to that?

“Polite, I suppose,” he said after a pause. 

“I’d much rather you were honest,” Fen’nisien said, and this time he actually did smile. “This is an informal conversation, not a debriefing. Now what do you _ actually _want?”

_ You _ was the answer that immediately flitted across Thrawn’s mind. He quashed that thought, clearing his throat to steady his voice before replying. Wine was nice, but he _ had _ always wanted to try _ gana’sia. _The liquor was said to have an exceedingly pleasant, smooth taste, but it was made from berries native to Copero’s mountain ranges and was quite expensive to import. 

“_Gana’sia, _please.”

Fen’nisien’s smile deeped and he shut the cooler door, crossing to the cupboards instead. “Of course.”

Fidgeting slightly, Thrawn tore his gaze away from Fen’nisien as the admiral reached into the upper cabinet, the motion pulling his already close-fitting shirt tight across his shoulders. Thrawn distracted himself with the paintings on the walls instead, unconsciously taking a few steps closer as he inspected them more closely. 

_ Crisp, clean lines slice across canvas, each stroke bold yet deliberate. At first glance, the bright colors seem merely whimsical, but looking closer, there is thoughtfulness to the form. The artwork suits Fen’nisien perfectly. Though he may lack the outer veneer of cool reserve most Chiss prize above all else, making him seem easy to read on the surface, there is a depth not immediately apparent; a mind that weighs and considers all options and makes no decisions lightly. _

“You enjoy art?” Fen’nisien asked, coming to stand beside him and holding out a second, smaller glass.

Thrawn took it without looking away from the artwork, for once not flustered by Fen’nisien’s proximity or the hint of warmth he could feel radiating from the admiral.

“I do,” he answered, almost absentmindedly. “Whatever the medium, all art holds deep meaning, and with it, deep insight. Both into its creator and those who appreciate the work, whether they realize it or not.”

“So you’re able to learn things about me simply from looking at these paintings?” Fen’nisien’s tone held genuine curiosity with no trace of defensiveness or disbelief.

“Yes.”

“Perhaps my quarters were decorated by someone else.”

“No,” Thrawn said softly, still entranced, not really thinking about the words as they passed his lips. “This is you.”

“And what does this art tell you about me?”

Thrawn gazed at the paintings, still absorbed in composition and color. “You have many layers,” he murmured. “There is warmth and light-heartedness, but there is also depth and attention to detail. You selected each of these pieces because you saw a common thread among them. Because they complement one another in many ways, despite their differences. I believe you are constantly seeking harmony and balance in all areas of life.”

“Remarkable,” Fen’nisien said, his voice soft and warm, and Thrawn froze, suddenly realizing what he’d been saying.

“I— I’m sorry,” he stammered, his face growing hot. “I shouldn’t have— it’s nothing, sir. I read too much into things, sometimes. Please forget I said anything.”

He glanced over to see Fen’nisien regarding him with a piercing, knowing look. Flustered, he took a gulp of his drink and tried not to cough. 

“If you wish,” the admiral said after a long pause. “But I think you underestimate yourself, Mitth’raw’nuruodo. You have… a talent for seeing things that others do not. Use that talent, and it will serve you well. Use it as a tool, as a means of relaxation and focus. Even as a weapon.”

Nodding, Thrawn took another, smaller sip to cover his embarrassment. 

“Thank you, Admiral. I… sir, why am I here?” he blurted out, becoming painfully aware of just how close Fen’nisien was standing. He suddenly didn’t know what to do with his hands or how to hold himself, torn between wanting to put a little space between them so he could think clearly, and wanting to enjoy Fen’nisien’s nearness.

As it turned out, he didn’t need to decide, because the admiral took a casual step forward, turning to face him directly. A serious expression had replaced the smile, and Thrawn’s stomach tightened. This was it. This was the reprimand he had been expecting.

“I have been watching your progress since joining my crew with some interest, Lieutenant,” Fen’nisien said. “When you simply follow standard procedures, you are as fine an officer of the Defense Force as I could hope to have aboard my ship.”

Opening his mouth and then closing it again, Thrawn blinked, suddenly unsure where this was going. 

“If you can learn to utilise your more unconventional skills as well, you have the potential to become exceptional,” the admiral went on. “However, if you continue to conduct yourself in the manner you have been, you will never reach that full potential.”

Thrawn stared for a moment, utterly nonplussed and for once completely unable to read his admiral’s expression. Was Fen’nisien somehow displeased with his work? Thrawn’s performance reviews had always been positive during his military career, and often noted his dedication. He had been working even harder to keep them that way since his transfer aboard the _ Seaflame, _ frequently putting in extra hours off-duty, and he _ certainly _never missed a shift or failed to complete his reports on time. 

“What exactly do you mean, sir?” Thrawn finally asked. “Conduct myself in what way?”

“You said I seek balance,” Fen’nisien said, head tilting as though considering him from a different angle. “You weren’t wrong. What I’d like to know is whether that’s something you seek as well.”

“Balance?” Thrawn repeated, his confusion growing. “I… I don’t understand.”

Fen’nisien raised his eyebrows. “You hope to command your own vessel one day,” he said. “Is that correct?”

Thrawn nodded. “That has always been my goal.”

“It’s an excellent goal,” the admiral said. “And an achievable one, _ if _you maintain balance along the way.” His expression grew more stern. “But balance is not what I have seen from you these past few months. You work yourself to the point of exhaustion. You forget to eat meals. You are tense and anxious on the bridge. These tendencies will not serve you well in command, Mitth’raw’nuruodo. You must learn to take better care of yourself before you are able to take care of others.”

His words stung, and Thrawn felt his shoulders slump. If only he could explain the real reason he’d been unable to concentrate on the bridge, this whole mess would undoubtedly clear up, but _ that _was out of the question.

“Thank you, sir,” he said instead. “I will do my best to improve my conduct.” He set his glass of unfinished _ gana’sia _down on a polished table beneath one of the paintings. “If there’s nothing else, I will take my leave.”

“There is one more thing,” Fen’nisien said, his tone shifting to a slightly deeper pitch. He set his glass down next to Thrawn’s. “I would like to help you in your efforts to achieve balance. I wondered if you might consider taking me as a mentor.”

Thrawn frowned. “You already are my mentor,” he said honestly. “I have learned much from you and hope to learn more.”

“That’s not exactly what I mean,” the admiral said, and he moved a fraction closer to Thrawn. “I’m talking about something much more... involved.”

Thrawn didn’t have the faintest idea what Fen’nisien was talking about, but his stomach tightened with sudden anticipation. The admiral sounded almost… _nervous. _That couldn’t be right, but there was no mistaking the slight tremor in that deep, gravelly voice. What could Admiral Fen’nisien, the man who had defeated countless enemies despite insurmountable odds, possibly be _ nervous _ about?

“Sir?” 

A brief silence; then— “Are you familiar with the tradition of _ tis vircusi? _” the admiral asked softly.

Thrawn’s eyes widened and his breath caught. Surely Fen’nisien couldn’t mean… with _ him. _

“Yes, sir,” he managed to stammer. “I... I am. Somewhat. But I have never…” He trailed off, feeling suddenly too warm. 

“Tell me what you know of it.”

Haltingly, Thrawn explained what he could— which was, admittedly, not much. “The… specifics may vary depending on the participants, but the relationship typically involves an… intimate exchange. A sharing of— of physical pleasure. To relax the body and clear the mind.”

“Essentially, yes,” Fen’nisien said, nodding. “The mind and body are tightly linked, and a warrior must always keep both keen and sharp. Exercise, sleep, and proper nutrition are all key to a focused mind— as is relaxation and the release of stress. But in addition to that, serving as _ tis vircusi _ creates a… bond. A duty for the mentor to pass on their knowledge and experience, in addition to providing their _ tsucavcit _with tranquility, sanctuary, and release. In whatever manner is needed.

“I would share this bond with you if you wish it, Thrawn.”

Thrawn couldn’t breathe; his heart was pounding so hard he felt dizzy; and his tongue suddenly felt too big for his mouth, tripping up his words as he tried to form them. “I… Admiral, why—”

Fen’nisien cut him off gently with a smile. “I think we can dispense with the formalities, given the circumstances. Please. Just Fenn.”

A pleasant warmth curled through Thrawn’s chest at the invitation. “Yes, s— Fenn,” he said. Calling someone by their core name was a demonstration of intimacy, of affection and familiarity. “I just... why me?”

“Because I see great promise in you, Thrawn. You are intriguingly unconventional. Your keen insight is fascinating. Even in the face of adversity, you are brave, loyal, and dedicated. And because you desire me, as I desire you. That is why.”

The embarrassment that had been building at Fen’nisien’s— _ Fenn’s_— praise paled in comparison to the electric thrill that coursed through him at those final words, leaving him struck utterly speechless, certain he was about to wake from a particularly vivid dream. _ Desire… I desire you. _

Fenn seemed to mistake Thrawn’s temporary inability to speak for hesitation. 

“I will not be offended if you choose not to accept the offer,” he continued, his words coming out slightly rushed as though worried _ he _ had somehow offended _ Thrawn. _“I don’t expect an immediate answer, of course. If you need time to think about it—”

“Yes.”

“—I completely understand,” Fenn trailed off at Thrawn’s blurted interjection, his expression slightly confused. “Yes, you need time to think about it?”

“No, I don’t need time, sir. _ Fenn,_” Thrawn amended again. “I… think it would be safe to say I have already spent more time thinking about you than I perhaps should have.”

The admiral’s look of confusion became a broad, knowing grin, and Thrawn’s ears burned. Why had he _ said _that— 

“Well. If you’re certain,” was all Fenn said, however.

Thrawn cleared his throat. “I am. My answer is yes. I would be… I would be honoured. What- what happens now? How do we… proceed?” 

“That depends entirely on what you need from me. On what you want,” Fenn said, meeting Thrawn’s eyes. “You need only tell me what that is.”

Thrawn froze, trapped by that steady gaze. “I…”

He could hardly breathe, let alone speak; all his words getting stuck in his throat before he could get them out. Part of him was still convinced he would wake up from this at any moment, alone in his bed once again with his admiral’s name on his tongue.

Fenn was still waiting patiently, his eyes on Thrawn’s and a soft smile on his lips. Thrawn _ knew _ what he wanted, knew _ exactly _what he needed, but he couldn’t form the words. Heart hammering faster, head spinning with fear and excitement alike, he took a step forward; then another, closing the gap between them, half-expecting the admiral to change his mind, to back away in surprise.

But Fenn stayed where he was, so close now that Thrawn could feel the warmth of his body, his head tilting up to hold Thrawn’s eyes— the admiral was slightly shorter than he was, but somehow Thrawn had never noticed that until now— he thought a quietly whimpered _ Please _escaped him but maybe— 

And then Fenn’s lips are on his and heat flashes through him. He’s dizzy with it, his thoughts scattering completely as he clings to Fenn’s solid warmth, overwhelming _ need _leaving him trembling. It’s too much, it isn’t enough, he’s whimpering helplessly as Fenn pulls away far too soon. 

“Tell me what you _ want._”

He can feel Fenn’s hands on his hips, holding him steady, his admiral’s breath hot at his ear. He can’t help the shudder that runs through him as he tries to answer. 

“I, I want. I don’t know- _ oh_—”

A nip to the side of his neck makes him break off with a gasp, as he feels more than hears Fenn’s next words.

“For once in your life, Mitth’raw’nuruodo, _ stop thinking._”

As if it could be that simple. He wants, he _ wants _ to but the words are tangled on his tongue as he tries to do as he has been asked. Asked by the man he has admired for so long, the man he wants so desperately to please, he cannot, _ will not _ disappoint him now. 

“I want—” He hesitates, closing his eyes as he gathers himself, manages to form the words. “I want to touch you, I want you to touch me, please, I want _ you._” 

“How should I touch you?” Fenn was still mouthing at his neck, sending shivers down his spine. 

“I—” He tries to stop thinking, stop thinking and just _feel. _“I want your mouth. I want you to hold me.”

There’s the barest flash of a smile before lips press against his again, warm and wet and sweet with wine and he loses himself completely in the taste and the feel of his admiral.

He’s been kissed before, _ touched _ before, but not for _ months _ and never like _this. _One of Fenn’s hands is tangled in his hair and the other is on his hip, steadying him as Fenn takes kiss after kiss from his mouth. It’s all he can do to stay standing, his own hands clutching his admiral’s shoulders as sparks of heat flicker through him.

He’s panting now, gasping as Fenn’s mouth moves back to his neck and the hand on his hip moves to press against his erection. Sparks become fire as heat rushes through him, as he comes, comes _ hard _ and without warning, leaving him swaying and shaking in Fenn’s arms. 


	4. Chapter 4

Mitth’raw’nuruodo gazed intently at the art on the walls, hands behind his back. He didn’t look _ relaxed, _ exactly, but certainly less tense than when he first arrived. Less self-conscious. Fenn watched him for a few moments, pleased that someone was taking an interest in his paintings. Most visitors merely glanced at them before moving on to more important business, but Mitth’raw’nuruodo didn’t seem able to look away. His eyes roved over the curve and shape of each piece— such beautiful eyes, glowing with deep red heat. Fenn wondered if his lieutenant ever looked at _ him _ with such intensity. The idea of those razor sharp eyes focused on his body sent a pleasant thrill down his back. 

There was no doubt in his mind that Mitth’raw’nuruodo was attracted to him, but the young man kept his emotions so tightly in check, it was difficult to gauge the depth of that attraction. Maybe Mitth’raw’nuruodo would accept Fenn’s offer and he’d be able to find out for certain. Fenn very much hoped that he would. He’d never met anyone with such drive, such focus, such _ promise. _And such inattention to personal well-being. He didn’t want to lose a valuable member of his crew, of the entire Defense Force; and to something so easily remedied.

Putting the _ gana’sia _away, Fenn picked up the two glasses and crossed the room to hand the young man his drink.

“You enjoy art?” he asked. He kept his voice low, hoping it wouldn’t startle the lieutenant back into his usual state of agitation.

It worked. Mitth’raw’nuruodo didn’t flinch or blush— indeed, he seemed to hardly notice Fenn at all. “I do,” he said, taking the glass without looking away from the painting in front of them. “Whatever the medium, all art holds deep meaning, and with it, deep insight. Both into its creator and those who appreciate the work, whether they realize it or not.”

“So you’re able to learn things about me simply from looking at these paintings?” 

“Yes.”

Fenn was mildly surprised. He’d always suspected the lieutenant had other sides to him, hidden depths he shared with no one else, but he’d always assumed they would be analytical in nature. Mechanics, for instance, or games of strategy. Art was so arbitrary, so subjective— it didn’t match his impression of Mitth’raw’nuruodo at all. What did he get out of such an unusual hobby?

“Perhaps my quarters were decorated by someone else,” he suggested.

“No,” Mitth’raw’nuruodo said quietly. “This is you.”

The absolute certainty in his voice sent another shiver down Fenn’s spine. What did those piercing eyes see?

“And what does this art tell you about me?” he asked, deeply curious but… not entirely sure he wanted to know the answer.

“You have many layers,” the lieutenant murmured, his eyes moving over each piece of art in turn. “There is warmth and light-heartedness, but there is also depth and attention to detail. You selected each of these pieces because you saw a common thread among them. Because they complement one another in many ways, despite their differences. I believe you are constantly seeking harmony and balance in all areas of life.”

A sense of unreality crept over Fenn as he listened. Mitth’raw’nuruodo knew next to nothing about him personally— _none_ of his crew did— yet had catalogued more private aspects of his personality with almost unnerving accuracy. And all that based solely on his selections of art— works indeed chosen for the very reasons the lieutenant had stated. 

“Remarkable,” Fenn said softly, impressed. 

His voice seemed to jerk Mitth’raw’nuruodo back to the present moment. The young man stiffened, sudden heat radiating from his face and neck as he blushed purple.

“I— I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I shouldn’t have— it’s nothing, sir. I read too much into things, sometimes. Please forget I said anything.”

Fenn didn’t respond immediately, studying his lieutenant intently for a moment. He could well imagine the way other Chiss, particularly those among the Ruling Families, would respond to such an intimate, honest assessment of their private selves— with anger, fear, and a defensive derision of Mitth’raw’nuruodo’s slightly unsettling talent. 

Mitth’raw’nuruodo fidgeted nervously under Fenn’s gaze, taking a gulp of his drink and flushing as he tried to stifle a cough. 

“If you wish,” Fenn finally said. “But I think you underestimate yourself, Mitth’raw’nuruodo. You have… a talent for seeing things that others do not. Use that talent, and it will serve you well. Use it as a tool, as a means of relaxation and focus. Even as a weapon.” 

The lieutenant nodded and took another sip of his drink, ducking his head slightly as fresh heat suffused his cheeks. “Thank you, Admiral. I… sir, why am I here?” 

His hands fidgeting with the half-empty glass, Mitth’raw’nuruodo met Fenn’s eyes briefly before his gaze darted down, skating the length of Fenn’s body and then away again with a little self-conscious twitch, as though he had been about to step away but then changed his mind. 

A sudden, overwhelming desire overtook Fenn; a yearning to take this nervous, high-strung, awkward wreck of a man in his arms— or better yet, his bed— and give him the release he so desperately needed, but he controlled himself. 

He needed to explain the problem first. Then he would present his potential solution; make his offer and await Mitth’raw’nuruodo’s decision. 

* * *

It seemed like a lifetime, but it was really only a few minutes before Fenn got his answer; and moments later Thrawn was eagerly pressed up against him, nearly vibrating with tension as Fenn kissed and licked a soft trail down the side of his neck. 

“I want—” Thrawn paused, quivering in Fenn’s arms. “I want to touch you, I want you to touch me, please, I want _ you._” 

“How should I touch you?” Fenn murmured, letting his lips brush over his lieutenant’s skin as he spoke. 

Thrawn shivered. “I—” his breath caught with a softly whimpered moan. “I want your mouth. I want you to hold me.”

_ Progress. _

Reaching up and threading his fingers through the young lieutenant’s hair, Fenn met Thrawn’s lips with his once more. Thrawn responded instantly, needy, his lips parting readily for Fenn’s tongue with a breathy moan; and Fenn hid a smile when Thrawn leaned forward to chase his mouth as he pulled back, briefly breaking the kiss before continuing. 

He kept it slow at first, gentle, until he felt some of that underlying tension in Thrawn’s posture dissipate; but before long, Thrawn was clutching almost desperately at his shoulders, his blatant desire pressed hot and hard against Fenn and wordless, desperate whimpers welling up in his throat. Fenn relented, kissing him harder, deeper, until Thrawn was nearly gasping for breath; the lieutenant’s hips moving in little abortive thrusts in time with the soft, panting moans falling from his lips with every exhale. 

Fenn twisted a little, breaking the kiss and earning a brief, dismayed whine from Thrawn. Suckling and nipping at Thrawn’s neck instead, he slipped his hand down and inwards, cupping the lieutenant’s straining erection over the large, slick patch of precome that had already leaked clear through his uniform trousers. 

Thrawn gasped and trembled violently at the touch, his hips jerking forward to grind his cock hard into Fenn’s hand, his helpless whimper muffled against Fenn’s shoulder as he came. Fenn held him through it, still mouthing gently at his neck and feeling Thrawn _ finally _relaxing against him— though it was only for a brief moment before the lieutenant tensed up again. 

“I’m sorry, I—” Thrawn stammered, blushing furiously, his voice rough. “I didn’t— I mean—” 

Fenn smiled and gently took his chin in one hand, moving the other back up to rest on Thrawn’s hip. He’d known his lieutenant was a little pent-up, but he hadn’t realized just how _ much. _Good thing he’d cleared his schedule for the evening. 

“Nothing to apologize for,” he murmured, pressing a light kiss to Thrawn’s lips. “You obviously needed that.” 

“I’m still sorry.” Thrawn’s shoulders were still heaving, his face flushed. “I did not expect… that has never happened before.” 

“What can I say?” Fenn grinned. “I guess I just... bring it out of you.” 

A brief pause. Then a tentative smile spread over Thrawn’s face. 

“That was a joke,” he said, his hesitant tone making it nearly a question. 

“It was.” Fenn’s grin widened. “I’m surprised you didn’t get a sense of my humor from those paintings.” On impulse, he reached around Thrawn’s hip and gave his ass a firm squeeze. 

“_Sir! _” Thrawn exclaimed, but his expression held far more delight than shock. “What are you—?” 

Fenn held a finger to Thrawn’s lips. “None of that ‘sir’ nonsense,” he said with mock severity. “It’s Fenn in here, remember?” 

“Yes, s— Fenn.” Thrawn glanced down at their bodies pressing together. “Could we… I mean, I’d like…” He blushed again. 

“Tell me what you want,” Fenn prompted gently. “Whatever it is, I want it too.” 

“I’d like to come again,” Thrawn said in a rush. 

Fenn smiled. “That can be arranged.” He took hold of Thrawn’s hand and gave it a gentle tug as he stepped back. “Come with me.” 

Water was a precious commodity in the military, especially on long missions in deep space, and Fenn doubted very much if someone as efficient as Thrawn ever spent more than five minutes in the refresher at a time. A long, hot, leisurely shower should help relax him. 

Especially if it included a few other pleasurable activities. 

“My quarters are your sanctuary, whenever you need them,” Fenn said, stepping into the small room and turning on the light. “So I want you to be completely comfortable while you’re here. Feel free to use the ‘fresher, the bath, and any other amenities you wish.” 

“Thank you,” Thrawn said softly. 

“Of course.” Fenn grinned and slid his hands around Thrawn’s waist. “Now let’s get you out of those clothes.” 

He had intended for them to take their time undressing each other, slow things down a little at this point, but… the lieutenant’s eagerness proved more than a little infectious. It wasn’t long before Thrawn had yanked Fenn’s shirt off over his head, made quick work of his own black CDF tunic, and pushed Fenn back up against the smooth wall of the refresher, mouth hot and hungry. 

Fenn groaned under the pleasant assault, the tiles cool on his back and Thrawn’s skin warm against his front. Thrawn’s hands seemed to be everywhere at once, as though he couldn’t decide where he wanted to touch Fenn most, sliding up his arms, over his shoulders, and across his bare chest, grazing almost shyly over his stiffened nipples. 

One of those hands eventually ran down his side, hesitating briefly on his hip before slipping inwards and down, and a low hum of pleasure rose in Fenn’s throat as Thrawn found his cock and squeezed him lightly, almost tentatively, through his trousers. 

“Oh-” Thrawn’s soft exclamation— barely more than a sharp exhale, muffled into Fenn’s mouth— sounded almost surprised, as though he hadn’t expected to find Fenn as aroused as he was. 

“Yes,” Fenn murmured, leaning forward into the touch. “That’s for you. It’s all for you.” 

Thrawn let out a strangled moan and squeezed him harder, working his hand up and down Fenn’s shaft. The pressure and friction sent white hot twinges through Fenn’s groin, and he bit his lip. It was too early to be falling to pieces. He was supposed to be pleasuring _ Thrawn, _not the other way around. 

“We should probably get that shower running,” Fenn finally murmured, starting to unfasten the lieutenant’s uniform trousers and using the motion to gently nudge Thrawn back from him. The last thing he wanted now was to destroy the man’s newfound confidence by making him think his actions were unwanted. 

A bashful but eager smile tugged at Thrawn’s lips and he returned the favour, deftly undoing Fenn’s trousers— but his hands stopped, his breath hitching audibly as his gaze dropped down to Fenn’s chest. 

Glancing down at himself, Fenn realized what had caught Thrawn’s attention and chuckled. “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice that until now?”

Thrawn blushed, but didn’t stop staring at the tattoo covering Fenn’s shoulder and part of his chest. 

“It’s beautiful,” he breathed, one hand coming up to trace lightly over the intricate design, following the swirling pattern with his fingertips. 

Fenn shivered at the delicate touch, and found himself wondering exactly what Thrawn was reading about him in the artwork he’d chosen to decorate his own body with. He’d definitely have to ask— but not right now. 

“Come on,” he prompted with a smile, pressing a quick kiss to Thrawn’s lips and giving a meaningful tug at his waistband before slipping past him to get the shower running. He could hear the rustling of fabric as Thrawn finished undressing behind him, and he finally slipped out of his own remaining clothing once the water was turned on. He kicked it all aside as he turned back to face Thrawn— and stopped in his tracks. 

The lieutenant was watching him intently and seemed surprisingly unshy at his own nakedness, despite the erection that was still full and hard between his legs, the tip still glistening wet with arousal. Fenn couldn’t help staring, his eyes tracing over Thrawn’s body while Thrawn’s gaze traveled down his in return. 

Thrawn was still slightly lanky, but his broad shoulders already showed the beginnings of what would be an unquestionably powerful build once his musculature finished filling out. He looked strong and lean; though perhaps a little _ too _lean across the flat stomach and narrow hips. Fenn stifled a wry smile. Thrawn really did need to stop skipping meals… but that part could wait. 

He held out a hand in mute invitation as he stepped under the spray of hot water, and Thrawn crossed the room in two quick strides to join him. 


	5. Chapter 5

Thrawn had imagined Fenn naked many times, but the real thing was _ far _ better than fantasies. For a few moments he just stood and stared, drinking in the sight, savouring every detail. Fenn was watching him, waiting for him; but he couldn’t quite tear his eyes away, his gaze travelling over the broad shoulders, catching again on that _ tattoo, _and drawn… further downwards; down to the sight of Fenn’s evidently reciprocated desire. 

His breath caught and his knees wobbled again. Fenn was hard, hard for _ him; _ Thrawn had just been _ touching _him— and would apparently get to do even more than that before long. 

Fenn stepped under the spray of water, his hand held out in a clear invitation, and Thrawn shook himself mentally. It had been a long day and he really _ did _need to wash before anything else. 

He followed Fenn into the shower, shivering with delight as the hot water hit his still slightly over-sensitized skin and trying to convince himself not to feel shy. The admiral’s shower was bigger than his own, the refresher almost luxurious compared to those in the standard, shared crew quarters; but they were still standing _ very _close, naked and wet and… 

Tearing his gaze away from the water running down Fenn’s chest, Thrawn reached for the cleansing gel, eager to get the washing over and done with so they could continue— but Fenn pulled the bottle out of his hand with a low chuckle, a warm, rich sound that Thrawn had heard countless times before… though it held an entirely different meaning now. 

“Oh no, we’re not rushing this part,” he said, squirting some gel onto his palm. “This is all supposed to teach you how to _ relax, _remember?” 

“But— oh…” Thrawn started; then trailed off into a quiet hum as Fenn’s hands slid up his chest and over his shoulders, the touch gentle but firm; lathering up the soap as he went. 

“Turn around,” Fenn murmured. 

Thrawn did, sighing with pleasure as Fenn began to work over his shoulders and slowly down his back in a light massage, rubbing out tension he hadn’t even realized was there until it dissipated under Fenn’s skilled touch and the hot spray of water. 

Fenn stepped closer behind him and Thrawn pressed his own hands to the steamy wall of the shower, steadying himself as a fresh lurch of arousal left him light-headed. Those hands never left him, kneading and caressing, trailing over his shoulders and arms, chest and stomach and back, the water sluicing away the foamy lather; and then Fenn’s lips pressed against his shoulder. 

“How does that feel?” 

“Mmm… wonderful,” Thrawn managed, feeling as though he might actually be melting under Fenn’s touch. He hadn’t felt this relaxed in… well, he couldn’t quite remember the last time. 

“More?” 

“_Yes._”

He felt Fenn’s smile against his skin and let his eyes drift shut, losing himself in the myriad sensations; the warmth of the water, Fenn’s hands in his hair, fingernails scratching gently over his scalp and making him shiver. 

Those hands moved down again, slick with soap and working slowly up and down his spine, something in him building a little higher on each pass. And then Fenn went lower still and a moan slipped from Thrawn’s throat as he pressed back into the touch. He’d never felt _ this _ before, never even considered the tension that could be carried in the large muscles of his legs, his buttocks; but Fenn was divesting him of that as well, leaving him simultaneously limp with the release of stress and achingly hard with an entirely _ different _tension. 

Fenn paused, one hand resting on Thrawn’s hip and the other on the back of his thigh, just under— just under his… “May I?” 

“Yes; stars, yes,” Thrawn groaned. He _ wanted, _ he wanted _ more— _

And then he got more as Fenn’s mouth found his neck again, tongue hot on his skin even in the warm shower; Fenn’s hands finally moving inwards and upwards, towards his center, front and back. Thrawn moaned again, louder; quivering as he felt slicked fingers slide over his hole, one pressing gently into him while Fenn’s other hand closed around the base of his stiff cock. Those hands were still massaging gently and Thrawn was caught between _ too much _ and _ not enough, _his breath coming faster with a soft moan on every exhale as Fenn washed him carefully, inside and out. 

It was over far too soon, and Thrawn couldn’t stop the needy whimper that rose in his throat as Fenn slipped out of him, shifting him under the spray of water to rinse him off. He was still twitching, desperate to feel Fenn inside him _ properly, _as Fenn shut the water off and ushered him out of the shower stall with a quick kiss and a gentle nudge, his hand at the small of Thrawn’s back. 

With a smile that promised more to come, Fenn handed him a towel and started drying himself with another, and Thrawn found his eyes drawn inexorably _ down _ yet again. Fenn was still hard too, and that _ dream _flitted across Thrawn’s mind, of being on his knees with Fenn’s hand in his hair, Fenn’s moans of pleasure filling the air; and he very suddenly wanted nothing more than to sink to his knees and take Fenn’s cock in his mouth right then and there. 

Thrawn’s breath caught, his heart racing as the admiral’s words came back to him. 

_ Tell me what you want. _

Maybe… maybe all he had to do was ask? 

“Would you like to move to the bed, then?” Fenn asked, and Thrawn jerked his eyes up again, flushing at the knowing, _ teasing _grin tugging at Fenn’s lips. He’d very obviously seen where Thrawn had been staring and didn’t look shy about it in the slightest. 

“I—” Thrawn started; then hesitated, his stomach twisting lightly with nerves. “I want to taste you,” he blurted, before he could talk himself out of it. “_Please._”

Fenn’s eyebrows raised in surprise, his face heating ever so slightly in a blush of his own. “Well— you certainly don’t have to, but… I won’t complain, if that’s what you really want,” he said, his grin deepening as he put his towel aside. 

“Yes,” Thrawn said. Lightheaded at his own daring, he dropped his towel to one side, despite not having managed to dry off much at all; then took a step forward and dropped to his knees. 

“_Oh— _ I meant, in the bedroom— _ ahhh…_” Fenn trailed off into a breathy groan as Thrawn closed his lips around his admiral’s cock without another word, sucking him in with a moan in the back of his throat. 

Fenn cursed softly above him as Thrawn slid his hands up the admiral’s thighs, Fenn’s hard heat sliding deeper along his tongue and the bright, clear taste of his precome filling Thrawn’s mouth. He tasted, _ felt, _ just as good as Thrawn had imagined he would; and everything else dropped away as he worked up and down Fenn’s cock, all his nervousness and jitters disappearing. He’d done this for partners before, and had definitely enjoyed the feeling of making someone fall apart because of his hands, his mouth— either in reciprocation or anticipation of his own pleasure— but this… this _ want, _ this burning _ need, _ was entirely new. Thrawn didn’t bother questioning it, doing everything he could to please his admiral, his _ lover, _and part of him still couldn’t quite believe that was true— 

— but it _ was _true, Fenn’s fingers were tangling in his shower-damp hair as the admiral leaned back with a gasp, his other hand gripping the edge of the sink so hard his knuckles went pale; and Thrawn moved one hand to the base of Fenn’s cock, dropping the other down to his own. Fenn’s reaction to him was pushing his arousal to new heights, his cock throbbing and aching for touch, Fenn’s voice the only thing cutting through the roaring in his ears. 

“That’s_ it, that’s it, _ yes, so _ good, _ yes, yes _ yes—_” 

Thrawn had all his attention focused on Fenn’s responses to his every movement; the twitch of Fenn’s cock in his mouth after a swirl of his tongue just _ there; _the tightening of Fenn’s hand in his hair when he squeezed a little harder around the base of the admiral’s shaft; the slow rise in pitch of his voice as Thrawn increased his pace— Fenn’s words were devolving into incoherent, panting grunts and moans— 

And then Fenn jerked above him, _ gasping, _ and the salty, sharp tang of come flooded his tongue. He swallowed it down, shaking on his knees and desperately working a hand over his own cock with Fenn’s taste in his mouth and his hand in his hair. Just a few more quick strokes, and Thrawn was coming so hard his toes curled, lightning crackling down his spine and his moans muffled around Fenn’s cock as he spurted out onto the floor between the admiral’s feet. 

He finally had to pull off to breathe, gasping in lungfuls of air and still dazed with pleasure as he looked up at Fenn. A moment passed like that, crystallized, with his admiral panting, staring down at him with a slightly stunned expression— and then Fenn _ growled, _ hauling him up to his feet and kissing him _ hard, _like he was licking his own taste out of Thrawn’s mouth; kissing him so fiercely his head spun. 

A few blurred minutes later Thrawn was flat on his back on the bed with Fenn on top of him, straddling his thighs. Fenn’s weight was pressing him down into the mattress, the admiral’s cock hard and hot and wet against his as they ground together almost frantically while Fenn began nipping and sucking a hot trail down the side of Thrawn’s neck. 

Instinct made Thrawn tip his head back, baring his throat as he tried in vain to spread his legs wider, wanting nothing more than for Fenn to just hurry up and _ take _ him. He could barely move, whining helplessly as a thrill ran through him from being so completely pinned down by his lover that he could do nothing more than squirm, his arms tightening around Fenn’s back and his fingers digging desperately into Fenn’s skin. 

But then Fenn shifted on top of him, pulling away from his neck and sitting up, sitting back on Thrawn’s thighs. Thrawn let out an involuntary whimper of dismay, opening his eyes again with no memory of having closed them to see his admiral staring down at him, panting, a faint smile on his kiss-swollen lips. 

“You really are just full of surprises,” Fenn said with a breathless laugh, his faint smile widening into a delighted grin as Thrawn met his eyes. He was drawing tiny circles over Thrawn’s hipbones with his thumbs while he spoke, and Thrawn blushed, ducking his head away from Fenn’s steady gaze as an abashed but pleased smile crept over his own face. 

Fenn didn’t say anything more, though; only looked at him expectantly without stopping those small, teasing circles over Thrawn’s skin. Thrawn whimpered, still squirming with need and unable to stop his hips from shifting under Fenn’s touch, despite his legs being firmly trapped by Fenn’s thighs. 

“Don’t- don’t _ stop,_” he finally breathed, hearing the hint of a whine still present in his own voice and still feeling a bit too self-conscious to look up at the man above him for long. 

“What else would you like?” Fenn murmured. 

“I… I don’t _ know. _ I want more. I want _ you,_” Thrawn finally managed, his voice hoarse and cracking slightly as a thousand different possibilities of what he meant by _ more _went careening through his mind— 

Fenn grinned at him again, and there was a heated _ promise _in the expression that had Thrawn immediately tingling with anticipation. “Turn over for me.”

He rolled himself onto his hands and knees the moment Fenn’s weight lifted off him, flushing even harder as he noticed the… _ items _that were laid out on the bedside table. 

“Those are for you, if you want,” Fenn murmured in his ear before shifting back down the bed. “But first, I’d like to return the favour. Would you like me to use my mouth?” 

“Yes, I- I’d like that.” Thrawn started to turn back over again. “Shouldn’t I be—?” 

“No, stay just like this.” 

Fenn started to press gentle kisses into the back of his thigh, slowly moving upwards, and Thrawn’s breath caught as he finally realised just what Fenn had in mind. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pure, unmitigated filth ahead. Enjoy ;)

Thrawn groaned, trembling, as Fenn’s lips and tongue trailed an almost agonizingly slow series of hot, wet licks and gentle kisses up the back of his bare thigh. He had a good idea of what was coming, but had never actually… _ experienced _it before. He was already shaking with anticipation by the time Fenn moved above his thigh, breath warm and humid on his skin; and he couldn’t stop looking over at the bedside table. 

Lubricant and massage oil, as well as a plug and a smaller, silver-coloured object he didn’t recognise; arranged in a neat row within easy reach of the bed. A delightful shudder ran through him at the realisation that Fenn had _ planned _ for this, had thought about him like this. Had thought about what he would enjoy, what they might need, and— how long _ had _Fenn been thinking about this? 

Fenn’s mouth started moving inwards and Thrawn whimpered, clenching his fists in the sheets— then gasped, nearly leaping out of his own skin as Fenn’s tongue lightly circled his hole, all his thoughts scattered as reality narrowed to nothing but _ here _ and _ now. _

While he was still trying to remember how to breathe, Fenn _ licked _him again, front to back, long and slow and almost unbearably sensual. The hot, wet pressure of his tongue had Thrawn trying to both crawl forward and buck back into it at the same time, a helpless, mewling little sound of need that was very nearly a sob escaping his lips. 

Somehow he had never expected this could feel _ so _ incredibly _ good, _but it did. The skin there was so sensitive, he could feel every minute flex of Fenn’s tongue, simultaneously smooth and rough and wonderfully slick with saliva as it moved against him, sliding over and around his entrance. He could feel Fenn’s warm breath on him, too; could even hear Fenn’s quietly appreciative hums of pleasure despite the rushing, thrumming sound of his own racing heartbeat filling his ears. 

Dropping his head down between his elbows, Thrawn arched his back in a half-conscious gesture, spreading himself; spreading himself open for _ Fenn. _ He couldn’t stop moaning, couldn’t stop _ moving; _his entire body undulating in time with the waves of pleasure that surged through him with every pass and swirl of Fenn’s tongue. 

His cock was positively aching for touch, throbbing insistently between his legs, and Thrawn opened his eyes briefly to look down the bed underneath himself. He flushed at the sight of the large wet spot he’d already leaked all over the bedding; but his gaze was drawn almost immediately further back, to Fenn kneeling on the bed behind him, to those hands on his legs, holding his hips lightly while Fenn kept licking him, lips and tongue and breath hot against his skin. 

It was nearly too much already, too good; and then Fenn’s tongue stiffened and pressed _inside _him and Thrawn thought he just might lose his mind. He shuddered, burying his face into the pillow as Fenn’s tongue slipped out again before sliding right back into him, over and over again, that softly slick pressure circling, moving, licking into him until he could hardly breathe, let alone think. 

The pillow cover was becoming damp against his cheek with his own saliva, and Thrawn knew, distantly, that he was all but writhing under Fenn’s mouth now. Unable to stop himself from bucking back against Fenn’s steadying hands, he raised his head again, panting, a desperate whine welling up in the back of his throat. 

“Fenn— Fenn, _ please, _ I need… I _ want _you, please.” The last came out as a muffled whimper as Fenn’s mouth left him, the admiral straightening up behind him. 

Thrawn dropped his head back down with a moan, pushing back against the hard heat of Fenn’s erection as it pressed into the back of his thigh. One warm hand left his hip, slipping inwards, and Thrawn’s breath caught as he felt Fenn’s thumb circling his hole, the tip pressing just barely inside him. 

“We need to get you ready first,” Fenn murmured. “You’re quite tense, still.” 

He leaned down, pressing a kiss to Thrawn’s back without stopping the movement of his thumb, and Thrawn shivered. He was slippery, wet with Fenn’s saliva; and Fenn was using that to gently massage him open, his thumb sliding, circling, a steady pressure against the tight ring of muscle at his entrance. 

Thrawn whimpered again, impatient for more; his hips twitching back into Fenn’s touch. 

“Is that a yes?” Fenn asked, his voice teasing, and Thrawn managed a strangled noise of assent.

“_Yes._” 

Chuckling, Fenn pressed another kiss to the small of Thrawn’s back before pulling away and leaning past him to get the lubricant and the tapered plug off the nightstand— and a vivid mental image sprang fully formed into Thrawn’s mind, of Fenn, here, in this bed, using the toy on _ himself. _

Thrawn bit down on another whimper, his cock jumping between his legs at the very thought, a flush of heat washing through his core and setting his cheeks burning all over again. While he _ had _experimented a few times with… self-penetration, before losing his virginity, he’d never worked up the courage to purchase any kind of actual sex toy— and had certainly never used one with a partner. 

Fenn settled down behind him again, and Thrawn twitched at the unmistakable _ pop _of the lubricant being opened. 

A moment, and then Fenn finally slipped one slick finger inside him. Another breathless moment before a second finger joined the first, and Thrawn’s eyes closed as he tried to focus on that sensation; tried to relax despite the tension still knotted tight throughout his body. Little sparks of pleasure skittered along his spine as Fenn’s fingers gently worked inside him, worked into him; but it was too good, too _ much. _

“Fenn… _ please, _ I need— I _ can’t—_” Thrawn trailed off into a broken moan, unable to articulate why he couldn’t just relax. He wanted; he _ wanted, _ but he was oversensitive, overwhelmed, too close to the edge; needing to move, needing— just _ needing. _

He moaned again in frustration, almost a sob, and Fenn pulled out of him again, murmuring wordless, soothing sounds. 

“It’s alright, Thrawn. There’s no pressure. We can take a break for now, or stop if you need to,” Fenn said. The hand that had been resting on Thrawn’s hip moved to rub his lower back, Fenn’s touch warm and comfortably heavy. 

Thrawn shook his head almost frantically with a whimper. His legs were twitching, quivering under him, his hips shifting constantly, rocking back and forth, and he couldn’t stop them. “No, no don’t stop, I want to keep going. I do_, _I just… I… I can’t _relax, _I don’t know why.” 

Fenn hummed quietly, the sound pensive, considering. “This might help, then. I’m going to go slowly, but if it’s too much, I need you to tell me. All right?”

“Yes,” Thrawn nearly hissed, his muscles tensing even more with anticipation. He felt so achingly empty inside, so desperate to be filled, stretched open— 

Fucked, _ a voice in the back of his mind says, _ you want to be fucked; _ and he can’t deny it. There is no other word for it, nothing else that can adequately describe the fierce, raw, _ animal _ need coursing through his body. Heat floods his face again, but he’s beyond caring anymore. Something cold and slippery is starting to press into him and nothing else matters— every fiber of his being is focused on one narrow point of pleasurepain as Fenn eases the plug into him. The shape gradually widens, the pressure keeps building, but it feels so good, so _ good _ he doesn’t _ ever _ want it to stop— _

“Relax,” Fenn murmured, squeezing his hip gently, rubbing his thumb in a soothing circle against Thrawn’s fevered skin. “Just relax. _ Breathe._”

Taking in a frantic gulp of air, Thrawn tried to calm himself; made himself relax into the stretch. True to his word, Fenn went slowly— almost torturously so— but it worked. Thrawn could feel himself opening up further as the pleasure built; the burn gradually lessening and then disappearing even as Fenn worked the plug deeper. 

Finally, _ finally, _it slid the rest of the way into him, and Fenn’s hand rested on his lower back again, warm and solid; grounding. 

“Good?” Fenn asked, and Thrawn could only moan wordlessly, nodding his head and pushing back against Fenn again. 

The toy was putting just a hint of pressure on his prostate, a constant, low-level stimulation that made him so hard it almost hurt. He was about to reach down and get a hand on himself before he went mad with the need to be touched, when Fenn shifted behind him, reaching under him, between his legs. 

Thrawn spread his knees wider, arching his back and panting with a desperate anticipation. Any embarrassment he’d had was gone, washed away completely by desire; desire, and the sheer pleasure Fenn was introducing him to, lightyears beyond anything he’d experienced before. As Fenn’s hand closed around his aching cock, his touch slick and warm, Thrawn’s hips jerked and he shuddered, cursing into Fenn’s pillow with his hands fisting so tight in the sheets his knuckles ached. 

He lost track of everything after that, he didn’t know for how long; lost himself in the searing pleasure that built higher and higher in his core with every stroke of Fenn’s hand up and down the length of his cock. He was vaguely aware of Fenn’s other hand moving inwards, pressing on the base of the plug, still deep inside him— and then it shifted just enough to press against him right _ there— _

Thrawn came so hard he thought he might black out, a ragged wail tearing from his throat and his breath coming in deep, shuddering gasps. His cock hadn’t even stopped twitching under him, still pulsing out the last of his release onto the bed, before he was begging without quite knowing what for; simply begging for _ more, _ for more of Fenn, pleading for Fenn to just _ take _him. He barely even recognized his own voice, raw with need, his half-coherent, desperate cries filling the air. 

“I will. I will, we’re almost there, I promise. You’re doing so well.” Fenn’s voice, low and warm and familiar, cut through the haze; and Thrawn quieted slowly, starting to calm and managing to catch his breath again as he came back down from the high of orgasm. 

Fenn was carefully pulling the plug out, leaving him briefly empty before pressing two fingers back into him again. Thrawn rolled his hips back, luxuriating in the feeling of Fenn’s fingers working inside him once more, the jagged edges of desperation smoothing into pure, ongoing pleasure. It was easier to take this time, _ so _much easier; and at that realisation, Thrawn finally relaxed completely. 

The last of his nervous tension seemed to dissipate all at once, dropping away in a rush that left his limbs loose and wobbly. He buried his face back in Fenn’s pillow with a slurred, blissful moan, his hips rocking back and forth in a languid rhythm to match Fenn’s movements, in and out and in again. 

He let Fenn work him open like that, desire still burning in his core but the urgent, frantic desperation finally gone. Before too long, Fenn paused briefly; and then Thrawn groaned as a third finger pressed into him alongside the first two. 

“How does that feel now?” Fenn asked as he resumed fingering Thrawn, slower now, stretching him open even more than the plug had at its widest. 

“Good… you feel so good,” Thrawn mumbled, and he heard Fenn’s breath hitch. The sound brought his swimming thoughts back towards clarity, and he abruptly realised that Fenn’s other hand was shaking where he was holding Thrawn’s hip; that Fenn’s voice had been slightly strained, his breathing shallow and unsteady. 

Something primal inside Thrawn thrilled at the knowledge that _ he _ was the reason; that his admiral wanted _ him _ just as badly; that _ he _ could affect his lover this way. Fenn was speeding up again, but it wasn’t enough; he needed more, he needed _ Fenn. _

Lethargy dropped away and Thrawn pushed back into it with a moan, half-fucking himself on Fenn’s fingers. Fenn’s grip tightened on his hip, the sound of a half-stifled groan reaching his ears, and Thrawn couldn’t wait any longer. 

“Fenn, I need you inside me, I want to be _filled,_” he burst out, not really paying attention to the words passing his lips. “I’m ready, I’m so ready, I— fuck me, Fenn, _please._” 

Fenn’s fingers slipped out of him and Thrawn couldn’t help the whimper that escaped him— he was empty, _ too _ empty— but then he was half turning over and half letting Fenn roll him onto his back. Fenn’s mouth was hot and hungry on his for a brief moment before the admiral broke away again to look down between them; and Thrawn did the same, both of them panting for breath— Thrawn’s head was spinning, this was it, this was _ finally it— _and then Fenn was lining himself up and pressing into him, sliding inside him; hot and hard and perfect. 

Thrawn shuddered, moaning brokenly as Fenn slowly, steadily pushed in further and further. He’d never felt so full; hadn’t quite realised just how _ big _Fenn was until now, and nothing had ever felt so good before. He clutched desperately at Fenn’s shoulders, feeling Fenn’s arms shaking; and it seemed like forever and no time at all before Fenn stilled, buried deep inside him. 

“Are you okay?” Fenn asked, and his voice was hoarse; unsteady. 

His eyes met Thrawn’s and Thrawn could feel him trembling_, _could feel his admiral’s chest heaving against his own. He nodded, rocking his hips up with a whine in the back of his throat, Fenn’s cock a wonderfully thick, heavy pressure inside him. “_Yes, _yes— don’t stop, please don’t stop, it’s too _good, _I— _Fenn—_” 

The name erupted from Thrawn’s throat in a loud cry as Fenn started moving in him with a deep groan that Thrawn felt right down to his bones. All he could do, all he wanted to do was _feel, _Fenn’s mouth, Fenn’s hands, sweat-slick skin sliding against his as Fenn rocked in and out of him. Every slow, deep thrust left Thrawn wanting more of the same, and he let go of everything else, giving himself up entirely to sensation. He could feel Fenn’s tension building rapidly, higher and higher— and almost before Thrawn knew it, Fenn was shuddering on top of him, filling him with a sudden wave of heat and gasping out his name. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real life did some ass-kicking lately, but Fenn was not forgotten <3

Hot water cascaded down Fenn’s back as he ran his hands over Thrawn’s shoulders, kneading the tight muscle gently with his thumbs. So much tension, so much worry and stress built up like armored plates on a ship’s hull. _ Let go, tsucavcit. Let me help you. _

Gradually, some of the tightness drained out of Thrawn’s shoulders. He was starting to make sounds now, soft sighs and hums of pleasure as Fenn moved further down his back, finding more spots of tension and working them loose with gentle strokes. 

Fenn smiled to himself, nudging Thrawn to the side to maneuver him under the spray of the shower without stopping the impromptu massage. Thrawn didn’t even seem to notice, his whole rigid posture still melting gradually as he finally relaxed and a small shiver running through him as Fenn pressed a long, smooth stroke up the long muscles to one side of his spine. 

_ Need to remember that one, _Fenn mused, repeating the stroke on the other side and drawing another soft hum and shiver from Thrawn. The number of knots in Thrawn’s back was ridiculous for someone so young. A proper, full-body massage was definitely in order at some point, but this would have to do for now. 

“How does that feel?” he asked, pressing a kiss to Thrawn’s shoulder once the soap lather had been rinsed away by the hot water. 

“Mmm… wonderful,” Thrawn replied, his speech noticeably less precise than normal as Fenn kneaded carefully with his knuckles at Thrawn’s lower back. Not slurred— not _ yet _anyway, Fenn thought with a grin— but certainly less clipped in delivery. 

“More?” 

“_Yes._” 

Pressing a kiss to the back of Thrawn’s neck this time, Fenn continued; working at Thrawn’s back and arms, chest and shoulders. A gentle scalp massage pulled more shivering hums from the lieutenant before Fenn paused briefly to get more cleansing gel, wondering if Thrawn had _ ever _really let himself be touched this way, had ever sought out methods of simple, calming relaxation. He returned to working up and down the length of Thrawn’s spine, gradually moving lower on each pass before focusing his attention on Thrawn’s glutes and thighs. Which necessitated a wry but stern reminder to himself not to get too distracted by just how lovely those were to look at. 

It was a little easier said than done, given the way Thrawn moaned and pushed back into the touch as Fenn worked out the high strung tension there, too. And it was downright impossible _ not _to notice Thrawn’s erection, just as full and eager as it had been when they first got into the shower. Fenn wasn’t much better off himself, admittedly; and it was taking even more self-control than he had expected to ignore the quietly insistent thrumming of his pulse through his own still-stiff cock. 

When Thrawn’s humming moans started turning into whimpers with a distinct edge of need, Fenn finally took pity on them both. 

“May I?” he asked, resting one hand on Thrawn’s hip and one on his upper thigh, with just the hint of a caress to the lower curve of one ass cheek. 

Thrawn positively _ quivered _under Fenn’s hands, groaning. “Yes; stars, yes.” 

Making sure to swipe up some of the slippery lather first, Fenn finally let himself lean in to mouth at Thrawn’s neck some more as he slipped his soapy fingers inwards. Thrawn moaned again, trembling as Fenn ran two fingers lightly over his entrance before gently working one inside. As he had expected, Thrawn carried tension _ everywhere; _and Fenn kept kissing and licking at the lieutenant’s neck, slipping his other hand down to Thrawn’s cock in an attempt to keep him relaxed, distracted. 

It seemed to work; Thrawn stayed loose and wobbly, leaning against the steamy wall of the shower while Fenn gently cleaned him, still massaging tension away as much as he could at the same time. Once he was certain he’d washed the last of the soap away as well, Fenn slipped his finger back out and released Thrawn’s cock again, the lieutenant’s quiet whine of dismay echoing his own pang of regret. 

But— first things first. There was no need to rush things; Thrawn was finally relaxing, they had plenty of time to do whatever he wanted to do tonight, and Fenn was absolutely committed to doing it _ right. _Thrawn was far less tense than he had been earlier, the tight lines of his shoulders visibly loosened and his posture relaxed despite the continued trembles at Fenn’s touch; now it was time to give him what he’d asked for before the shower. Fenn smiled to himself again. He had a few ideas for making Thrawn’s next orgasm a little more… special than his first of the night had been. 

After rinsing both Thrawn and himself off thoroughly, Fenn finally shut the water off and ushered him back out of the shower stall to dry off. 

Thrawn was clearly distracted though, only cursorily toweling himself off and staring intently at Fenn with a _ hungry _look in those beautiful, bright eyes. At certain parts of him in particular. 

“Would you like to move to the bedroom, then?” Fenn finally asked, his lips twitching as he tried not to grin too widely when Thrawn jumped slightly, eyes immediately jerking back up to meet his. 

“I—” Thrawn started; then stopped again, flushing. Fenn waited for him to continue, hoping Thrawn was finally feeling comfortable enough to say what he wanted _ without _prompting. 

“I want to taste you. _ Please,_” he finally burst out, and Fenn felt a surprised blush rise in his own face to mirror the one currently staining Thrawn’s cheeks deep purple below the eager, intense gleam in the young lieutenant’s brilliant red eyes. 

He hadn’t been expecting _ that. _

“Well— you certainly don’t have to, but…” Fenn grinned, tossing his towel aside to head to the bedroom. “I won’t complain, if that’s what you really want.” 

“Yes,” Thrawn said; then dropped his barely-used towel, took a step towards Fenn, and sank straight to his knees on the ‘fresher floor. 

“_Oh— _ I meant, in the bedroom— _ ahhh…_” Fenn’s admittedly feeble objection trailed off into a groan as Thrawn’s mouth closed over the head of his cock and sucked him in. “ _ Fuck-_” 

Fenn hardly noticed the breathy curse that slipped from his lips as the soft, wet heat of Thrawn’s mouth enveloped his cock almost completely, Thrawn’s hands running up his thighs to grip his hips tightly and pull him forward until Fenn felt himself hit the back of Thrawn’s throat. The lieutenant’s hum of pleasure vibrated around his cock, and Fenn’s knees went suddenly weak as Thrawn did… _ something _with his tongue; then pulled back to start sucking at his cock with another eager moan. 

He hadn’t expected Thrawn to be so _ good _ at this; and the feeling of Thrawn’s warm mouth working up and down his aching cock, the sight of him on his knees with the water of the shower still glistening on his skin, the sound of his muffled moans, they all combined to shove coherent thought from Fenn’s mind. Gripping the edge of the washbasin counter for support with one hand, Fenn tangled the fingers of the other through Thrawn’s messy, shower-damp hair— and _ hells, _messy was a good look on him— staring down as Thrawn dropped a hand down to stroke himself while wrapping the other around the base of Fenn’s shaft and pumping in time with the slide of his lips and tongue. 

“That’s it,” Fenn groaned, already panting, “_that’s it, _ yes, so _ good, _ yes, yes _ yes—_” 

He knew, distantly, that he was all but babbling; but the encouragement only seemed to spur Thrawn on. After ignoring his own desire for so long to focus on Thrawn, Fenn’s pent-up arousal skyrocketed under Thrawn’s incredibly talented ministrations; until his words dissolved into incoherent moans, heat building in his belly as Thrawn sped up, firm grip tightening on his shaft— 

And then he jerked, gasping as release crashed through him, his cock _ throbbing _as he pulsed out into the heat of Thrawn’s mouth. Thrawn didn’t stop, swallowing around him as he came, his desperate whimpers muffled around Fenn’s cock only adding to the whirling sensations that left Fenn dizzy with pleasure. 

Even as Thrawn coaxed the last pulses of come from his twitching cock, the lieutenant shuddered, moaning; and Fenn just stared down at him, watching as Thrawn came again under his own touch with Fenn’s cock still in his mouth. Panting for breath, Thrawn finally pulled off and looked up, eyes blazing as they met Fenn’s stunned gaze, one hand on Fenn’s still-hard cock and the other wrapped around his own, his come streaking the floor between Fenn’s feet. 

The moment stretched, and then Fenn _ growled, _hauling Thrawn to his feet and pulling him into a kiss, hard and deep and messy. He could taste himself on Thrawn’s tongue; could feel Thrawn shaking, grinding up against him and whimpering in the back of his throat, urgent and needy. 

Time blurred, all thoughts of what they were doing and why disappearing in a haze of desire, of sheer _ want; _ and Fenn half carried, half propelled Thrawn through to the bedroom to deposit him on the bed. Thrawn pulled Fenn down with him, semi-coherent moans and pleas tumbling from his lips as Fenn pinned him to the mattress with Thrawn clutching at his back. With Thrawn hot and wet and _ hard _against him, Fenn started sucking and biting a trail down the side of his neck with another low growl, pleasure sparking up and down his spine as they ground frantically against one another. Thrawn bared his neck to Fenn’s teeth, tilting his head back— 

And the loud, desperate _ whine _that rose in the back of his throat as he squirmed between Fenn’s legs finally snapped Fenn back to himself. 

He wrenched himself away and sat up, panting for breath as he stared down at Thrawn, only restraining himself through sheer force of will from burying his face straight back into the enticing line of Thrawn’s neck and just _ taking _him then and there. Thrawn’s eyes opened, meeting Fenn’s gaze with a questioning, pleading look; and Fenn smiled down at him with something akin to surprised wonder blooming alongside the arousal still raging in his core, calming him. A little. 

“You really are just full of surprises,” Fenn finally murmured with a soft laugh, still slightly taken aback by the strength of his own reaction. He hadn’t gotten so completely carried away in _ years. _Probably decades, for that matter. 

But tonight wasn’t about him. He couldn’t forget that again. 

Thrawn had blushed and ducked his head under Fenn’s warm gaze, though not before Fenn saw his shyly pleased smile. Fenn waited patiently, now that he had control of himself again; drawing idle circles over Thrawn’s hipbones with his thumbs while Thrawn squirmed under him, whimpering and then blushing even harder for it. 

“Don’t- don’t _ stop,_” Thrawn finally said with a little whine in the back of his throat, fidgeting as he glanced up at Fenn and then down again. 

“What else would you like?” Fenn murmured, making no move to continue. 

“I… I don’t _ know. _ I want more. I want _ you._” 

Thrawn’s voice was strained, hoarse and needy; and Fenn couldn’t help grinning at him, looking forward to breaking through the lieutenant’s bashfulness even more before the night was through. It was time to get back to his true purpose here tonight— that of bringing Thrawn as much pleasure and release as he possibly could. 

And to do that… Fenn’s smile widened as it struck him that chances were high Thrawn had yet to experience what he had in mind now.

“Turn over for me,” he said, shifting off Thrawn’s legs. 

Thrawn rolled over immediately onto all fours next to him, another blush colouring the young lieutenant’s neck and ears as he glanced over at the bedside table. 

“Those are for you, if you want them,” Fenn murmured, answering the unasked question before moving down the bed to kneel behind Thrawn. He hadn’t been sure what Thrawn would want tonight, if he did accept the offer in the first place, but it never hurt to be prepared for all eventualities. “But first, I’d like to return the favour. Would you like me to use my mouth?” 

“Yes, I- I’d like that,” Thrawn said, sounding a little confused and starting to shift down onto his side. “Shouldn’t I be—?” 

“No, stay just like this,” Fenn hummed, placing a gentle hand on Thrawn’s hip to stop him turning over and pressing a soft, deliberate kiss on the back of one bare thigh. 

He thought Thrawn would likely catch on quickly; and he did, breath catching audibly as soon as Fenn kissed his thigh again just little higher up. Fenn moved slowly, meandering a trail of open-mouthed kisses and soft licks up the back of Thrawn’s leg, giving him the chance to decline if he wasn’t comfortable with the idea. 

Thrawn did nothing of the sort, trembling and groaning quietly as Fenn gradually worked his way onto the firm curve of Thrawn’s ass and then inwards— and from Thrawn’s reactions once Fenn finally reached his goal, he had been right. Thrawn _ hadn’t _ever had this before. 

That thought, the knowledge that he was the first to show Thrawn this particular pleasure, sent an almost inappropriate little flare of pride and delight through him; but Fenn pushed it aside, concentrating entirely on making Thrawn feel as good as he possibly could. 

* * *

“Fenn… _ please, _ I need— I _ can’t—_” Thrawn moaned, nearly sobbing. 

He was showing no signs of relaxing around Fenn’s fingers— if anything, he’d actually tightened up a little again. Concerned, Fenn pulled out gently. Thrawn very obviously wanted this; but almost _ too _much, to the point where he was just getting himself overly worked up. The taut lines Fenn had managed to ease from Thrawn’s shoulders in the shower had crept back in, the renewed tension visible again in his upper back as Thrawn twitched and trembled on the bed in front of him. 

“It’s alright, Thrawn,” Fenn said, rubbing Thrawn’s back soothingly with his other hand to try and calm him down a little. “There’s no pressure. We can take a break for now, or stop if you need to.” 

Thrawn immediately shook his head, whimpering urgently as he bucked back and forth under Fenn’s hand. “No, no don’t stop, I want to keep going. I do, I just… I… I can’t _ relax, _I don’t know why.” 

“Hmm… This might help, then,” Fenn said after a brief moment of consideration. Still firmly ignoring his own desire for the time being— not the easiest of tasks with Thrawn spread open, moaning and wriggling back against him like this— he looked around for the toy he’d dropped on the bed next to him. The taper of the plug might actually help Thrawn relax into the stretch a bit more gradually. “I’m going to go slowly, but if it’s too much, I need you to tell me. All right?”

“_Yes._” 

Thrawn’s answer came instantly, and he quivered, whimpering again when Fenn let go to pick up the plug and lube. Warming them both as much as he could in his hands, Fenn made sure to get the toy well slicked-up before moving one hand back to Thrawn’s hip and carefully pressing the tapered end into him, watching for any signs that it was painful or too much. Fenn knew damn well he wasn’t exactly an… easy size to take; and much as they both obviously wanted more tonight, Thrawn just might not be able to handle it yet. 

Which certainly wouldn’t be the end of the world, Fenn reflected, watching as Thrawn dropped his head back down with another whimper, the lieutenant’s lean, muscular back arching and flexing. Fenn was, after all, very much looking forward to the chance to return the favour Thrawn had given him after the shower at some point. If it turned out Thrawn couldn’t have _ exactly _what he wanted tonight; well, Fenn would just have to make sure to give him something just as good instead. 

He kept trying to push back into it as Fenn carefully pressed the plug deeper just a little at a time; and Fenn squeezed his hip gently. “Relax. Just relax. _ Breathe._”

Thrawn stilled, sucking in a sharp, deep breath and then exhaling a long whoosh of air. Fenn smiled as he _ saw _some of that frantic energy leave Thrawn along with it. He kept going as Thrawn slowly, gradually relaxed; until the plug finally slipped fully into place. 

“Good?” Fenn asked, rubbing Thrawn’s lower back again, watching another smidge of tension loosen from his posture. 

Thrawn just moaned in answer, pushing back against Fenn with an unfairly enticing _ wiggle _of his hips, and Fenn had to bite back a groan at the sight Thrawn made. Head down and knees wide, the lieutenant was still twitchy, letting out a hint of a whimper on every exhale and rocking ever so slightly back and forth in a needy little bouncing motion. Reaching down between Thrawn’s legs with his already lubed up hand, Fenn wrapped his fingers around Thrawn’s cock, hot and wet and practically steel-stiff; and Thrawn jerked at the touch, shuddering and letting out a brief string of what might have been expletives, the finer details lost as he buried his face into the pillow. 

Fenn worked him like that, watching Thrawn’s back arching, hips bucking into his touch, the long line of his spine glistening with fresh sweat. He quickly got louder and louder as Fenn stroked him with a tight, slick grip, moving in time with Fenn as they gradually sped up together. It was growing increasingly difficult for Fenn to ignore his own body’s demands like this, his cock hard and throbbing, aching for touch and dripping wet with precome. 

Biting his lip against a groan, Fenn reached in to adjust the plug slightly, pressing on the base to angle it down a bit more— and a raw, wordless cry tore from Thrawn’s throat, his cock twitching in Fenn’s grip as he came, gasping and shuddering. He was still thrusting spastically into Fenn’s hand, still pulsing out onto the bed when the wordless gasps turned into barely coherent, half-sobbing pleas for Fenn to take him _ now. _

“I will. I will, we’re almost there, I promise. You’re doing so well,” Fenn managed, his voice unsteady with the effort of _ not _doing just that as he carefully, slowly pulled the toy out again. This was a good start, but it still wasn’t going to be enough— and he was not about to hurt Thrawn just to sate his own needs. 

Thrawn was already starting to calm down after the clearly intense release, fortunately. His trembling had quieted, the muscles in his back and shoulders relaxing; and as Fenn slipped two freshly-lubed fingers into him again, he went almost limp with a long, low moan of pure pleasure into Fenn’s pillow. 

Trying and failing to control his own breathing, Fenn worked him open carefully; and this time, finally, it worked. Thrawn didn’t tense up around him, his soft moans muffled into the pillow as he rocked almost lazily back and forth, fucking himself slowly on Fenn’s fingers. It was almost too much, and Fenn felt about as twitchy with need as Thrawn had been by the time he was able to get Thrawn up to three fingers. 

Thrawn groaned, low and throaty, and Fenn kept it slow, feeling Thrawn gradually opening up even more. “How does that feel now?” 

“Good… you feel so good,” Thrawn mumbled, his voice slushy, almost dreamlike; and Fenn’s breath caught, the burning desire in his core flaring even higher and making his head spin with sheer _ want. _

With another, louder moan, Thrawn pushed back into the touch again, harder this time, almost demanding. Fenn’s grip tightened involuntarily where he was holding Thrawn’s hip, a strained groan escaping him as his aching cock jumped. He’d leaked all over the bed, he realized distantly; and then his attention snapped entirely back to Thrawn and the renewed series of desperate pleas spilling from his lips. 

“Fenn, I need you inside me, I want to be _ filled. _ I’m ready, I’m so ready, I— fuck me, Fenn, _ please._” 

Fenn froze for a split second, but then almost before he knew what he was doing, he had pulled his fingers out and rolled Thrawn onto his back, covering Thrawn’s mouth with his in a hungry kiss. He only broke away long enough to line himself up, working his still-slick hand quickly over his cock and already panting hard as he looked down between them— Thrawn was opening his legs wider with a needy whimper— 

And then Fenn was inside him, Thrawn’s tight, slick heat gradually enveloping him as he pushed in with a groan of relief, just barely keeping enough presence of mind to go _ slow. _He made himself stop again only halfway in, Thrawn clutching at his back and shaking with wide eyes and a look of shocked bliss on his features. 

“Are you okay?” Fenn managed, trembling from the effort of holding back, his chest heaving as he panted for breath. 

“_Yes, _ yes— don’t stop,” Thrawn gasped, hips bucking up to meet him. “Please don’t stop, it’s too _ good, _ I— _ Fenn—_”

Fenn couldn’t hold back any longer, and with an almost tortured groan he was already thrusting into that unbelievably tight, slick squeeze by the time his own name burst from Thrawn’s lips. Thrawn pulled him closer with a long, keening whimper, their mouths meeting and unevenly gasped breaths mingling as Fenn rocked in and out, just barely managing to keep his thrusts slow; and he wouldn’t have needed to speed up anyway, not with Thrawn’s moans of pleasure filling his ears, the salty taste of Thrawn’s skin coating his tongue as he sucked and licked and bit a trail down his lieutenant’s neck— 

“_Thrawn—_” Fenn gasped, the tension within him cresting and bursting in a whitehot wave of pleasure that left him shuddering and breathless, his cock pulsing as he spilled himself into Thrawn’s tight heat. 

As he came back to himself, he could feel the sweat stinging where Thrawn’s nails had raked trails down his bare back, the quietly sharp pain an exquisite counterpoint to the unexpectedly intense, _ fierce _pleasure still singing up and down his spine in shivery little aftershocks. Pulling away from Thrawn’s neck and not quite able to regret the vivid purple bite mark he’d left behind, Fenn found Thrawn’s mouth in another kiss, this one light and scattered and breathless while he finished coming back down from the high of his own release. 

Thrawn’s hips were still rocking slowly under him, the movement luxuriant now instead of desperate; the rest of the lieutenant’s body about as loose and wobbly-looking as Fenn could have hoped for. He broke the kiss, pulling back just far enough to take in the look of relaxed pleasure on Thrawn’s face; lips slightly parted, cheeks flushed, and hair utterly, completely disheveled. Thrawn’s brilliant red eyes opened and found Fenn’s a scant moment later, kiss-swollen lips curving up in a soft smile and a humming moan escaping them as Fenn matched his rhythm, rocking smoothly along with him and trying _ not _to think too hard about the fact that he could feel the slickness of his own come inside Thrawn. 

Fenn stayed seated deep inside him, not really pulling out or thrusting in, just moving in him and with him. Thrawn was _ still _hard between them, after… Fenn grinned, twisting up onto one arm and reaching down to run a thumb lightly up the underside of Thrawn’s cock. 

Three orgasms and he was still up for more, judging by the way he trembled and let out a quiet gasp, hips twitching up into Fenn’s touch. 

“_Mmh— _Fenn… feels good,” Thrawn breathed with a little groan. 

“Well, good,” Fenn murmured back, circling the pad of his thumb over the tip of Thrawn’s cock, hot and slippery with precome. “Means I’m doing my job right.” 

Thrawn hummed again, eyes drifting shut for a moment. His arms were still wrapped loosely around Fenn’s back, fingertips tracing light trails over Fenn’s skin. “What was that… other thing? The silver one?” he asked, hazy curiosity in his eyes as they opened again. Partway, at least. 

Fenn chuckled, wrapping his fingers loosely around Thrawn’s cock and working his palm over the head. “It’s a vibrator. Ever used one before?” 

Thrawn shook his head, hips twitching again as Fenn gave his cock a single long, slow stroke from tip to base. 

“They can be a lot of fun,” Fenn said, letting his grin widen. “With someone or just… by yourself.” 

Thrawn’s eyes widened, the purple flush in his cheeks heightening briefly as his gaze darted down Fenn’s body and back to his face again. “You mean— do you…” 

“Mm-hm.” Fenn ducked his head to lick a stripe up Thrawn’s neck and thrusting just a little harder, once. He felt Thrawn’s stiff cock twitch in his hand, a barely audible gasp near his ear. 

“Can I— can we… try it, next time?” 

A bolt of desire shot through Fenn at the words _ next time, _his breath hitching as he nipped at Thrawn’s throat before answering in a voice that had more of a growl to it than he’d intended. “Absolutely.” 

Thrawn shivered under him, hips bucking up to meet Fenn’s next half-thrust. Those half-thrusts eventually turned into full ones, Thrawn’s arms tightening around Fenn’s back again and his breath starting to come in sharp pants next to Fenn’s ear. Fenn kept it slow, though; slow and as deep as he dared, ignoring the primal urge somewhere in the back of his mind that wanted to know if Thrawn could take _ all _of him. 

Instead, he focused on Thrawn’s reactions to him, making small adjustments to the angle of his hips, the tightness of his grip and the twisting of his wrist as he pumped Thrawn’s cock in time with his own thrusts; until he had Thrawn twitching and shuddering beneath him, full-throated, utterly wordless moans of sheer pleasure tumbling from his lips. Fenn could practically _ taste _the vibrations of it through Thrawn’s throat, the hand that wasn’t coaxing Thrawn closer and closer to another orgasm tangled in the lieutenant’s hair while Fenn mouthed at his neck and throat and shoulder, licking and biting and sucking. 

Despite focusing entirely on Thrawn’s pleasure over his own; despite having already come twice himself this evening, Fenn’s tension built inexorably higher as Thrawn whimpered and panted and sweated under him, still-tight heat welcoming him again and again and _ again. _He could feel Thrawn trembling, teetering on the very brink of overstimulation, could hear it in the desperate half-whines on every exhale and see it in the furrow in his brow, his eyes squeezed shut in concentration, in mingled desperation and frustration. 

“Just one more time, for me,” Fenn murmured into Thrawn’s ear, panting hard, nearly shaking himself with the effort of holding his own looming release back just that tiny bit longer. 

Thrawn shuddered, head back, straining, _ gasping— _

“_That’s _ it, _ there _ you go,” Fenn coaxed, groaning; and with a series of strangled cries that were more like sobs, Thrawn came again, cock pulsing in Fenn’s grip and his chest heaving as he whimpered and gasped raggedly for breath. 

Fenn managed to keep working Thrawn through his orgasm until the lieutenant went completely limp under him— save for the continued, involuntary clenching around Fenn’s cock and the intermittent tremors that still shook through him from head to toe— before he couldn’t hold off his own release any longer. 

He pulsed out inside Thrawn for what felt like ages, stilling except for the uncontrolled little spasms and jerks of his hips; and then he finally collapsed on top of Thrawn in a warm, sweaty heap, keeping just enough presence of mind to slip partially sideways onto the bed with his face still buried in Thrawn’s shoulder and Thrawn’s in his. 

Fenn finally roused himself when he heard Thrawn’s breathing steady into the slow, relaxed rhythm of near-sleep. Reluctantly pulling out, he levered himself up onto one arm with a quiet groan, and Thrawn made a noise somewhere between a mutter and a whimper before his eyes cracked open, peering up at Fenn with a look of mild confusion. 

“I’ll be right back,” Fenn murmured, pressing a kiss to Thrawn’s forehead before rolling out of bed. 

When he returned with cleansing wipes and a mug of water, Thrawn was sitting half propped up against the crooked pillows with a sleepy smile. 

“Thank you,” he said gratefully as Fenn handed him the water, setting the case of wipes down on the bedside cabinet. 

Thrawn only blushed a little as he pulled out a few of the damp tissues after first gulping down a long drink, and Fenn busied himself with moving the ‘supplies’ into the bathroom to be dealt with tomorrow, giving Thrawn a bit of privacy to clean up. He quickly got his own drink of water and gave himself a good wipedown with his still-damp towel as well; then returned to the bedroom to find Thrawn finishing off the last of his water and just starting to look nervously awkward again. Not giving that a chance to set in, Fenn climbed into bed beside him with a smile and tugged the covers back in invitation. 

Thrawn immediately wriggled under them too, curled up in Fenn’s arms with a soft sigh, and was asleep within minutes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed! We'd love to know what you thought, comments fuel the Fennergy ;)


	8. Chapter 8

It was early when Thrawn woke, the unfamiliar room a momentary confusion before last night’s memory returned. His limbs were pleasantly heavy, his whole body more completely relaxed than he could ever remember being. His adm-  _ Fenn _ was pressed against his back, one leg between his own and an arm draped over his chest. Thrawn wondered briefly whether he should slip away now; but as though sensing his thoughts, Fenn stirred, burrowing his face into the back of Thrawn’s neck and tightening the grip of his arm, muttering something indistinct before his breathing evened out again. 

Thrawn settled in again with a contented sigh. There was no way to go without waking Fenn, and besides… 

He didn’t  _ want _ to. 

* * *

He had never taken well to being idle, though, so as pleasant as Fenn’s arms were, Thrawn eventually did rise, carefully extracting himself from the embrace so as not to disturb his admiral. 

There was still plenty of time before either of them was on duty today, so after using the refresher and cleaning up, he quickly pulled on his uniform trousers and busied himself with the task of preparing breakfast for them both. Digging through Fenn’s kitchen, he was able to find the necessary ingredients for a simple Csaplan dish he hadn’t made for himself in months. 

As he worked, Thrawn suddenly realized he was unsure when  _ exactly  _ a meal that wasn’t straight from a ration packet or the mess hall had become too much; too time-consuming to be bothered with— but the familiar process was soothing rather than stressful. Thrawn smiled wryly at himself. It seemed Fenn had a point; although, for all the admiral’s concerns around Thrawn’s eating habits, his own kitchen seemed to be suspiciously unused. 

A sound from the living area gave Thrawn a moment of warning before Fenn pressed against his back, a murmured good morning preceding a gentle kiss to the side of his neck. No tension, no flustered embarrassment, just warmth and contentment as he tilted his head to allow more lazy kisses. 

“What’s all this?”

“Breakfast,” Thrawn said, humming a little before pulling away with a small twinge of regret to save their meal from over-cooking. 

“You didn’t have to go to all this trouble on my account,” Fenn said, keeping out of the way but giving Thrawn’s bare shoulder a gentle squeeze, his hand solid and warm and… comforting. 

“I know. I wanted to,” Thrawn said simply, glancing up with a quick smile before turning his attention back to properly sauteeing his vegetables. Fresh brocch’oli appeared to be one luxury of being an Admiral, and Thrawn was looking forward to it. He hadn’t had any since… well, in quite a while. “You did say I needed to remember to eat better.” 

Fenn chuckled, moving away to collect their forgotten, half-finished drinks from the previous evening. “A very good point. And it smells amazing,” he added, coming back and peering over Thrawn’s shoulder. 

Ducking his head, Thrawn shooed Fenn out of his way again, a pleased blush creeping into his cheeks. By the time he had everything ready to go a few minutes later, Fenn had just set two steaming mugs of caf on the table. 

It really was nice to just sit and enjoy a good meal, rather than inhaling a ration bar or two while anxiously going over an already-finished report before his shift yet again, and Thrawn found it easy for once to relax. The company helped, too. Usually when people asked him personal questions, he found it incredibly awkward and extricated himself from the conversation as quickly as possible. But with Fenn, it felt… casual, comfortable; and Thrawn found himself talking easily about everything from childhood stories to his brother’s career, as well as listening raptly to Fenn in turn. 

In some ways it felt incredibly odd; surreal, even, seeing this personal side of Admiral Fen’nisien. Hearing about  _ his  _ childhood and random, mundane things that weren’t a part of the lessons and biographies Thrawn had grown up reading about the man. But it was nice, hearing more about  _ Fenn  _ himself, as an actual person rather than an idol— and somehow, knowing that Fenn’s career and choices and path to where he was now hadn’t always been easy either, made Thrawn feel better about himself in a deep, calming sort of way. 

They didn’t linger too long over the meal, though. Thrawn’s uniform may not have been…  _ visibly  _ dirty, but it was undeniably rumpled, the material more than a little stiff in places. He definitely needed to shower and change before going on shift. Fenn cleared away the breakfast dishes while Thrawn went to finish getting dressed, a hot flush rising in his cheeks at the vivid memories that flashed immediately into his mind when he hurriedly balled up his underclothes and shoved them into one pocket. 

Fenn had a knowing smile when Thrawn re-emerged into the living area, his face still a bit hot but his thoughts— for once— under control nevertheless. And then the goodbye should have been awkward but somehow wasn’t when Fenn pulled him into a relaxed embrace and pressed a light kiss to his lips. 

“Remember, any questions you have, any time you need company, even just to talk, I’m here,” Fenn said, holding Thrawn’s gaze. “And even if I’m busy or not here, you’re more than welcome to come to my quarters to relax.” 

Thrawn nodded, clearing his throat. “Thank you. And— we can also… do that again, too?” 

“Of course,” Fenn said with a grin; then winked. “Any time you like. But there’s no pressure to, either. Yes?” Blushing, Thrawn nodded again, and Fenn gave him another quick kiss before releasing him. 

Not quite able to keep the faint smirk off his own lips even at the mildly amused, knowingly raised eyebrows from the crewmembers he passed in the corridor, Thrawn headed back to his own quarters, feeling incredibly  _ light  _ and eager to start the day in a way he hadn’t in a very, very long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for coming along for the ride with us! We hope you enjoyed it as much as we did, and we always love hearing your thoughts <3 <3 <3
> 
> (yes, we had to put brocch’oli in there. It's all wantonwhale's fault)


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